Worrying from afar

I dread the children getting sick, for so many reasons--I don't like surprises, it throws a wrench into my plans, I don't know how to deal with it because I don't know how to fix whatever is wrong with them, and when I do take them to the doctor, most of the time even the doctors never say with certainty what the problem is. They waffle for a bit with "well it could be" and "probably" "we think..."

Why don't kids come with little flash-drive type ports? That way, I could press their nose or something and out would pop (preferably from an orifice not already associated with input or output) a little diagnosis. "More carrots" or "Lots of rest, warning: child will vomit three times in the next 5 hours" or "dysplastic mole; please remove within next 6 months" or even "swelling on knee due to trauma suffered while child was trying to do 'the worm' on a cement sidewalk, despite his recollection that he was hit by a frontloader, which is bogus." That way, I would spend less time binge-eating while stressing over the unknown.

Yesterday morning out of the blue, I got a call from the MTC health office. EJ was going to be seen by an offsite health care professional for a small problem (which I am not going to divulge).

Now the whole issue here is not "ooo, EJ is sick!" (he's not)  The issue is:

I can't do a thing about it! He's too far away; he's in a cloistered situation; he can't call me; he's an adult so TECHNICALLY they don't have to tell me anything (he had to sign a release form so I could get information). All of this put me in a bit of a dither--not an angry dither, but an I-can't-do-a-thing-about-it-yet-I-can't-stop-the-imagination-from-running-AMOK dither.  And I don't like dithers.  I got hardly anything done yesterday. My to-do list that I had written out that morning reminding me of chores like: exercise, shower, make dinner, write letter, do laundry etc, suddenly seemed only to say EAT ICE CREAM AND WANDER AROUND THE HOUSE LIKE A LOST PENGUIN (I waddle).

Finally I was able to talk to the health care professional who examined EJ and the nurse at the MTC and all fears were allayed and we are assured that he will live (no, we didn't think he was really going to die) and that medication was dispensed.

(but part of me still thinks there is stress eating to be done)

(and I get mad at myself a little sometimes because I think I shouldn't feel stressed about it. EJ is an adult and perfectly capable of dealing with issues on his own and he doesn't need his mommy tending to him anymore. I've never thought of myself as a hovering mother, but I worry that perhaps I am. I don't want to be)


Jen said…
I'm so relieved to hear that EJ's ailment is not serious and can be treated. What a mess you must have been though when that call first came through. Of course, it's every parent's worst nightmare to get a call about your child when you are away from him/her. We will start to add EJ in our nightly prayers to keep him safe while he's away.
Dennis said…
I'm glad EJ is ok. I hope this is over quickly. Mothers are supposed to worry about their children even when they at 70 yrs old.
TaterBean said…
Doing the worm on cement? Who would do that?! lol
Gee, Tate, I don't know. Who would do something like that?
Jenni said…
Hope all is well. I know he isn't wanting to miss out on any fun while he is out there!! Worry all you want...you know it won't change the outcome, but you can't help it, so just go with it!!
Steven L. Kent said…
Okay, so the last time I saw you was 1992 and you and Jim were moving to Minnesota, I think. If I got that right, I must say, Portland became much less exciting the day you folks moved east.

How are you doing?
I'm doing fine, as are the rest of the family. The two little kids we had during the Portland days are now adults and we added three more, who are getting close to adult age.

I still read lots; Jim mostly listens to music--he only recently discovered the magic of the iPod.

How are you (aside from what your author's bio says)?