Showing posts from February, 2010

The bearded lady

Someone with a facial hair fascination on her blog sent me this. I think I look pretty smashing. I've always loved a goatee and a 'stache. Hayley says I look like the "Burger King guy."

One paragraph for each child and pictures for three of them

Other Jim: OJ got his "track" assignment for BYU-I. He was assigned Winter/Spring. That means he has three extra months to save money for college. He's not quite happy about it, but I'm sure he'll get used to the idea eventually. It's kind of a good thing for Jim; we were a bit worried about taking OJ to Idaho in early Sept because that's a difficult time for Jim to take off work--the bosses said no vacations late August/early September (at least that's what I heard when Jim was talking. Maybe I heard wrong. You can quote me on it, but be prepared in case Jim says that he didn't say that.)

Paul: He's being targeted by OJ and his Nerf dart gun.

So he decides to protect himself. With a footstool? Hey, it was handy.
Heeheehee! This reminds me of my brothers who used to use the same kind of footstools as a football helmets. I had a good laugh. In other Paul news, his displastic mole, which was removed last August, grew back and he had to hav…


Ten things we've done or that I've enjoyed while watching this year's Olympics:

1. Debated whether the US snowboard team's uniform was an actual flannel shirt and a pair of baggy jeans.
2. Developed mantras based on the aerial stunts in ski jumping: "Full full double double full." And then "Hurricane?"
3. Cowbells--'tis a joyful sound!
4. Those are some mighty-high tech gloves that the speed skaters wear. Are there metal knobs on the finger tips? They use them just to drag their left hands on the ice as they turn so they don't fall over; they need high tech for that?!
5. Love the hype over Lindsay Vonn who got her start about 5 miles from my house! Yay for Buck Hill!
6. The sound of skiers slaloming down the icy hills--very soothing.
7. Wondered how lugers keep their heads up. You couldn't get me on one of those sleds for any amount of money. Or a bobsled, or a skeleton sled. (and honestly, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? Why three different type…

Oh, the Humanities!


That's the expression of feeling for having just pressed the SUBMIT button on my final Humanities paper (2 essays concerning the plays Hamlet and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead)

Final test in early March as per my revised goal for this class, at the completion of which, I will celebrate the fulfillment of the general requirements for my Bachelor's Degree for People Who Didn't Stick Around for REAL College. Then I am on to the writing emphasis portion of my fake college career, during which I will spend most of the time in my light blue bathrobe contemplating how best to put down on paper (or on computer screen) the fact that there is nothing interesting going on in my head.


I wanted to go back to bed, but I had a date with the flu shot clinic at Paul-n-Other-Jim's high school. The call went out (or the email was mass-mailed) for volunteers to man (or woman) some stations at the H1N1 flu shot clinic at the high school. I usually don't get to sign up, but, lo and behold, I didn't have to babysit! So I signed up. I had to be there at 7:55 a.m. (normally, I'm in my robe with a bowl of oatmeal to keep me company, and Matt is puttering around the house forgetting to brush his teeth and do his cat job. I can't remember the last time I was showered, breakfasted, and ready to leave the house before 8 a.m.) I was leaving Matt to his own devices, which causes me a few moments of panic only because I still see him as "THE BABY" and babies can't take care of themselves. But he's 11 and he assured me (via the classic method of preteen communication: the eye roll) that he could take care of himself and wouldn't miss the …

I am not posting today

I haven't got anything to say. And there isn't much going on. Hayley does have a band concert tonight; I'm sure I'll take pictures. This might be the last time she plays clarinet for a band concert. She loves the bassoon; she's especially anxious to use the other seven thumb keys for the left hand. So far she's only used the one little round one. She really wants to use the BIG round one.

I've also been knitting several dishcloths while exercising on the stationary bike. I've found that I get bored very easily if I'm just watching movies while stationary-cycling. So now I knit while watching something and cycling. (so what if it takes me 15 minutes to set everything up and get everything in the right place. Bike placed just so--it bothers me if the bike doesn't look straight on right in the middle of the screen. I notice things like angles--not angels. I don't notice angels so much. Angled viewing doesn't bother me if I'm s…

Hayley's new friend

Hayley brought the bassoon home yesterday. She put it together and made blatting noises with it. She said that it's weird to have her hands so far apart for fingering, since she's been used to the clarinet. On this instrument, the left thumb has 7 or 8 key options! That'll take some learning for her to get used to.

Another day, another OJ moment

This last night from Other Jim:

"So I'm going on a field trip tomorrow and"

I interrupt. "A field trip? For what class?" I knew nothing of a field trip.

"Photography," says OJ.

"Wait. A field trip? Why do I not know of this? I didn't sign any field trip permission form." I hoped he would say that's because Dad signed it, but I wondered if my hope was misplaced.

OJ smiles. "I know. I filled it out and turned it in without a signature just to see if the teacher would notice."


(And apparently she didn't notice because he's going on the field trip)

I am so ready to be shut of this child. I had to tell him "You know I love you, dear son of mine, BUT YOU TAX MY PATIENCE AT EVERY TURN!" I tried and tried and tried to teach him manners/civility/obedience/caution but I fear he just used those lessons to see how much fun he could have thumbing his nose at me while he breaks just enough of the rules to be irr…

How to irritate your mother at the dinner table

Ten things about table manners that make a mother go "GRRRRRR" very loudly:
1. Eat your last bite of food just as your mother sits down at the table and prepares to eat her first bite.
2. Ask a sibling to throw a tiny potato at you so you can try to catch it in your mouth.
3. Laugh loud and long with your mouth open and full of half-chewed roast.
4. Pick through the fruit cocktail for the peaches and pears ONLY.
5. Insist that you really only like mashed potatoes, but after the mom evil-eye stare, you put the piece of potato in your mouth and place it in your cheek, look directly at your mother and make sure she is looking at you, the take the heel of your hand and use it to squish the lump of unchewed potato through your teeth.
6. Insist that you can't eat anything on the dinner plate because you accidentally forgot to shake the ketchup bottle before using it and hence squirted the runny ketchup water all over your food rendering it "inedible."
7. Cover everything w…

The chocolate hearts are all gone

Valentine's day is over--whew! Those treasure hunts are taxing, and I made my family late for church. I said I wasn't going to give out the treasure hunt quiz before church, but I guess I lied to myself. I couldn't resist starting the kids on the treasure hunt. Then I wrenched my back and I didn't go to church and everyone else was late.

Next year I think I will start recycling treasure hunt puzzles from years past. I hope it will save some time and reduce the craziness that I suffer through just to give the kids each about $3 worth of chocolate. And next year, perhaps the number of children participating will be whittled down to three. Hopefully Other Jim will be at college.

It was fun to watch the kids puzzle over the quiz questions. The quotes from their early years had them laughing and guessing completely wrong! (and I'm a bit sad that no one tried to guess who said what in my post from Sunday. Oh well, I'll eat the chocolate myself! That will surely cu…

How I show love for my kids

I make them work and sweat for their Valentine treat. Yes, the Valentine treasure hunt is very nearly ready to go. By the time you read this, I should have all the clue bags put together. I still need to fill the treat bags and hide them, but that shouldn't take too long. I won't let them start on their treasure hunt until after church, though. They'll get their quizzes then.

Sample question from the quiz:

Who said (out of the kids Katie, OJ, Paul, Hayley, Matt):
1. "If I lose all my hair, I will be blind."
2. After finding some cereal on the floor, this person said, "Mom, I found some breakfast seeds."
3. "Look, we're parked next to a Hot Wheel!"
4. "Can I have a cough drop?" I replied no, you haven't been coughing. This person said, "Then can I have a burp drop? I burped."
5. "How do you know if you buy a kitty that it will be nice? Does it say on the box that it will grow up to be nice?

Can you guess the answ…

How to tell a joke poorly

1) make the subject something very few people understand, or
2) go off on a lengthy tangent in the middle of the story

I am going to do BOTH, so this little anecdote will probably fall flat on its face and fracture its fibula (I love alliteration!).

K. So Matt is in a "special" math class (interruption: he is complaining that saying "special" makes it sound like he needs extra help in math. This is not the case. It's an enrichment class. As in normal math is tres easy for him--true story: he came home at the beginning of the year and said that the teacher wanted him to go to extra classes for both language arts and math. I said, "Oh Matt, they just want to make sure that you can succeed. It's ok that you need some help. We can help you at home too." He looked at me and said, "No, Mom, it's for the gifted kids!" Boy, did I feel stupid. I just basically called my kid SLOW. Really, though, it didn't occur to me that he was...u…

What's up with Katie?

Some of you might remember that we used to have five kids instead of four. Yeah, there's this girl we had first, the child before Other Jim (the not-so-undetectable food stealer). But she got old and we got rid of her.

HA! (OK, that was in poor taste. But then I'm all about not recognizing when something is in poor taste. Have you SEEN my house?)

Kate still keeps in near daily contact with us, thanks to texting and free long distance on cell phones.

I thought I would post a small update on our long-gone daughter.

This is what she has been doing in her spare time:Yes, it's a skull latch hook pillow she hook-latched. The goth in her has reemerged in her desire to craft. I like the red eyes. She did another one, a latch hook version of "Starry Night" by Van Gogh. It was a gift for someone and I have mislaid the picture she sent me. It was HUGE too. At least four feet wide, I think.

And no she isn't dead,
she's merely sleeping on her couch.

Katie has been…

Busted two different ways.

I didn't realize how much I relied on having a printer until Saturday night (very, very late) when I tried to print out my lesson for Sunday and the printer keeled over and died. We've been without a printer since then. Matt couldn't print out his essays for his Wolf Ridge book; I had to send them to his teacher so she could print them out. I couldn't print out recipes for the meal exchange and for the refreshment desserts I brought to our Relief Society activity last night. I can't print out Valentine coloring pages for fake child. I can't print coupons. I can't photocopy the glute exercises I found in the March issue of Real Simple to send to someone. I can't photocopy birth certificates to put in a compilation of important papers that I am putting together. Bleagh!

In other news that makes me grumpy, I found a bottle of cran-raspberry juice open and HALF DRUNK in my pantry! Someone snuck in there and drank half a jug of juice and, in order to h…

Snowed in

Two hour delay for our schools this morning. The kids were happy to sleep in.

This picture is from last night. I liked the scene. Paul sleeps a lot, and Paul is the only human that Magic really likes. He loves to curl up with Paul.

This is the view from our front window. I like the layered snow hanging over the gutters. It hangs down about a foot.
Here is Matt standing next to the pile of snow built up from shoveling the driveway. As you can see the pile is taller than he is. He's on his way to the bus stop.
And then he had to climb it.

Paulism and pictures from Monday morning between 8:25 and 8:35 a.m.

Paulism: "I was [doing something-can't remember what he said he was doing] yesterday or the day after..."

Think about it. Matt said I had to blog it.

Photo montage from this morning:

Matt didn't know I took a picture of him like this. It's behavior like this that allow me to pretend that he's still a preschooler.
The cat reached up for the brush and pulled it down and rubbed his face on it.
Snow overhang on our garage. Yes, it's snowing again. We're supposed to get 6-12" today. And yet no school delay.
Servo snuck outside and rolled in the snow to make a Servo snow angel.
Then he licked the snow off one of his paws.

Ten things of a Saturday

1. Saturdays were invented for bathrobes.
2. And for child labor. (KIDS, GET TO WORK!)
3. Chapter 17 done. Three more to go. Then the final. I now know "all" about both analytic and synthetic cubism. And I will have to add "Piet Mondrian" to my list of words I like to say out loud.
4. Other Jim is FINALLY starting to work on an Eagle project. Time to add Paul to my list of recipients of Eagle project nagging.
5. ACK! VALENTINE'S DAY IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER! Must get to the treasure hunt.
6. Recently learned truism: if I post old pictures of my mother's basement, one of my brothers will call me to reminisce about it. (Note to self: If I ever have to tell that brother something, post pictures of the basement. It will be like the Batman spotlight)
7. I should make fun of mother less often to her face. (But even Dorothy does it). And it's weird to see my mother treated like a little sister (even though she has a foot in height on Dorothy)
8. Dorothy w…

Check up

I should have done this on Monday, but I forgot until now. So I made some resolutions for 2010 and I wanted to remind myself what I chose to do and reflect on my progress.

Follow the linky words of a different color to see my original list.

Hmmm. Some are kind of nebulous, which is to be expected when one hates the idea of New Year's resolutions.

1. Voice my opinion, don't be such a wallflower. Well, I voiced my opinion and my feelings once so far this year and it got me into a day's worth of trouble and I yelled at someone that I actually really like. I think I'll go back to suppressing my opinion and my feelings and trying to make myself into more of a doormat. Hello, wallflowerism! (although I did try at church to say hi to more people and that seemed to work--so maybe I'll just change this resolution to say hi to more people)

2. Be more efficient and less lazy. The list thing is sort of helping, although I've had an off day or five here and there. I sti…

Retro picture day

I'll call this picture "A Tribute to 80s Big Hair and Glasses" (even though my hair isn't as big as big hair could get back then). A co-worker from my cashier job took this picture during work hours. I'm glad she took it so I could show you my LOVELY brown smock! And the shirt I sewed for myself (although you can only see a little bit of it). If you look closely, you can see the packaging of one of my favorite chocolate truffles.

OK, the big hair is gone for the moment in this picture, ONLY because I washed it. The gigantic glasses, however, are still there.I don't know who took this picture--either Jen or Jake. I could do kind of an I Spy thing with this picture: find the hand with the missing finger, find the clarinet, find the fuse box (that was a joke for Travis who couldn't find my mom's fuse box when he and my sister visited for Christmas and he had to ask ME where it was. Mom either didn't know herself or she was busy. Fortunately, I…

Post #213 in a never-ending series of posts about band concerts

Band concert last night.

This was the weather as we drove over to the school:Very pretty but a bit of a challenge to drive in.

French horn player who "somehow" managed to "forget" to tell his mother that he had a solo in one of the songs so she nearly missed it because she was talking to the friend who sat next to her:
Bassoons. I post this picture because Hayley's band director asked her if she'd like to learn to play the bassoon and she nearly died with excitement saying yes.
Paul after the concert and after the verbal "thrashing" received over the lack of solo notification. As you can tell, he's very contrite, sorrowful, and repentant. Not. I just like pictures of snow falling.