Should the title of this post be "Fallen Arches" or "Arch Angel?"
Every so often, I'll drive by a chain fast food venue while hungry, and an argument will break out.
Me: Mmm, fast food! I wanna stop and get some.
Other Me: I don't.
Me: But the food is so yummy!
Other Me: It is not! The last ten times (at least!) we've stopped there have been incredibly disappointing, remember? We pulled out of the parking lot all the while kicking ourselves for having gone there because the food was gross. We wasted our money buying it.
Me isn't listening: Mmmm, french fries! With ketchup! Come on, you know you love them.
Other Me: Maybe the first three fries. After that, it's like eating cold, salty glue sticks.
Me: How about the hamburgers then. You love a good hamburger!
Other Me: Yes I do, but fast food hamburgers are not good hamburgers.
Me: Soft bun, meat, chopped onions, ketchup--it's all there!
Other Me: All there in the most depressing arrangement ever. The sandwiches always come out squished, and the chopped onions are plopped in one square centimeter of the patty so that you get them all in one bite. Plus, the onions are not crunchy.
Me: Milkshake! I want a milkshake! You can't argue that a milkshake isn't tasty. And they can hardly screw that up.
Other Me: But milkshakes make you thirsty. I don't want to be MORE thirsty going out of a food joint than going in.
Me: Fine. Then get a salad, you boring old person.
Other Me: Shut up and the only thing grosser than a fast food hamburger is a fast food salad.
Me: What is wrong with their salads? You've eaten plenty of them.
Other Me: The lettuce for one thing. We always find brown leaves, wilted leaves, questionable leaves, and gooey leaves in fast food salad. And I always feel guilty picking out the two little tomatoes and the two slices of seedy cucumber. If I make my own, I use the right kind of cuke and I don't waste money on tomatoes (which are really apples of the devil).
Then Me throws a punch, and then Other Me pulls hair and pretty soon there are bruises and bloody noses and one of us is crying and the other one is pouting, and I can never tell who won the fight.
Me: Mmm, fast food! I wanna stop and get some.
Other Me: I don't.
Me: But the food is so yummy!
Other Me: It is not! The last ten times (at least!) we've stopped there have been incredibly disappointing, remember? We pulled out of the parking lot all the while kicking ourselves for having gone there because the food was gross. We wasted our money buying it.
Me isn't listening: Mmmm, french fries! With ketchup! Come on, you know you love them.
Other Me: Maybe the first three fries. After that, it's like eating cold, salty glue sticks.
Me: How about the hamburgers then. You love a good hamburger!
Other Me: Yes I do, but fast food hamburgers are not good hamburgers.
Me: Soft bun, meat, chopped onions, ketchup--it's all there!
Other Me: All there in the most depressing arrangement ever. The sandwiches always come out squished, and the chopped onions are plopped in one square centimeter of the patty so that you get them all in one bite. Plus, the onions are not crunchy.
Me: Milkshake! I want a milkshake! You can't argue that a milkshake isn't tasty. And they can hardly screw that up.
Other Me: But milkshakes make you thirsty. I don't want to be MORE thirsty going out of a food joint than going in.
Me: Fine. Then get a salad, you boring old person.
Other Me: Shut up and the only thing grosser than a fast food hamburger is a fast food salad.
Me: What is wrong with their salads? You've eaten plenty of them.
Other Me: The lettuce for one thing. We always find brown leaves, wilted leaves, questionable leaves, and gooey leaves in fast food salad. And I always feel guilty picking out the two little tomatoes and the two slices of seedy cucumber. If I make my own, I use the right kind of cuke and I don't waste money on tomatoes (which are really apples of the devil).
Then Me throws a punch, and then Other Me pulls hair and pretty soon there are bruises and bloody noses and one of us is crying and the other one is pouting, and I can never tell who won the fight.
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