For when you don't want to use your vocal chords to introduce yourself

Nunya cards.

These cards are for those folks who possess a sense of humor about themselves and who also like to define themselves in ways other than the norm. These cards are for people who like to carry around little rectangles of heavy paper. These cards are for people who like to give those papery rectangles to other people.

They kinda remind me of the magician/comedian we met at my sister-in-law's birthday party. He gave out business cards, which had on them his name, followed by "Magician. Comedian. Person." I still have the card because it gives me a good laugh.

If I got a package of these beauties, I might have to put on it:

Shoebox Princess
Cookies required


Shoebox Princess
Breather of a gaseous mixture of 78.05% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, and <1% other assorted gases


Shoebox Princess
I like shoes. A lot.


Shoebox Princess
I live in a shoebox castle

What would you put on a Nunya card?

And no, I wasn't paid to promote Nunya cards. I just happen to know the person who designs them and I think she deserves some free advertising. I met her once and we went to a movie at a science museum and then we wandered around the Portland Whole Foods. And she has a cute baby.


Mike said…
Michael J Hawley
Jen said…
I like the idea of Nunya Cards. Unfortunately, I already have a set of business cards that may or may not get used again some day since I don't actually have any business right now. I though the "Potential Lunch Winner" was funny and "Occasional Shaver" also got a laugh. I think Mike's would have to be "Mustache Enthusiast". My "profession" would be too long for the card, "Person who cleans, cooks, launders but enjoys none of those"
Jen said…
Whatever, Mike! His "science" made the dog pee on my floor last night.
Jenni said…
I can't think of anything good.

Jenni Smith
Person of Walmart
Mike--What did you do to make the dog pee?

Jen--I like your too long profession.

Jenni--"I can't think of anything good" would be good. Person of Walmart is also acceptable. How about "Jewelry enthusiast?"
Dennis said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dennis said…
I removed the above post because of a typo.

so my card would read

Dennis G. Hawley
Collector of Trivia
Jen said…
Mike was setting off fireworks again, and the dog always gets so freaked out. She came over and laid on my feet and then proceeded to urinate on them and on my fancy throw rug. DOG!!!!!