For when you don't want to use your vocal chords to introduce yourself

Nunya cards.

These cards are for those folks who possess a sense of humor about themselves and who also like to define themselves in ways other than the norm. These cards are for people who like to carry around little rectangles of heavy paper. These cards are for people who like to give those papery rectangles to other people.

They kinda remind me of the magician/comedian we met at my sister-in-law's birthday party. He gave out business cards, which had on them his name, followed by "Magician. Comedian. Person." I still have the card because it gives me a good laugh.

If I got a package of these beauties, I might have to put on it:

Shoebox Princess
Cookies required

or

Shoebox Princess
Breather of a gaseous mixture of 78.05% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, and <1% other assorted gases

or

Shoebox Princess
I like shoes. A lot.

or

Shoebox Princess
I live in a shoebox castle

What would you put on a Nunya card?

And no, I wasn't paid to promote Nunya cards. I just happen to know the person who designs them and I think she deserves some free advertising. I met her once and we went to a movie at a science museum and then we wandered around the Portland Whole Foods. And she has a cute baby.