The Umpire Strikes Back

(Sing to the tune of the nursery rhyme "Little Boy Blue")
Big ol' boy blue,
Come call out "Play ball!"
The pitchers and fielders
Are awaiting your call.

Where is that boy
who calls "foul" or "fair?"
He's still in the car,
He's combing his hair.

Heehee! This has been another installment of bad poetry coming to you courtesy of the bad poetess, Shoebox Princess, to mark the occasion of Paul's first stint as a paid umpire for the local Little League.
Paul, of course, was not late. He didn't waste time primping before the game, as the poem implied. He got there early so he didn't have to rush. He spent several minutes at home trying to decide which shorts to wear, finally settling on one that had belt loops so he could wear a belt to hold up his little blue pocket thingie that holds his pen, game card, and a couple extra baseballs.I only watched for a few minutes--fake child wanted to play at the park and I figured I didn't have to stick around for the WHOLE game. I just caught a half an inning, which was enough to see that he was doing a fine job. He sounded confident, he was on top of the game, he called out his judgments clearly, and pointed and gestured as animatedly as he ever gets, which, granted, isn't VERY animated, but he did just fine. He'll send in his game card and they will send him a paycheck.

Updated this morning: So last night Paulie diligently got his umpire card filled out and addressed the envelope so he could send it in. Too bad he addressed the envelope to HIMSELF and put the Little League office as the return address. FOREHEAD SMACK. The child doesn't know how to address an envelope! How have I neglected educating him in this particular area? He had to redo the envelope. Thank goodness he hadn't put the stamps on it yet. Honestly, he's almost 15 and he is woefully unprepared for the simple act of mailing a letter using the United States Postal Service! What else have I neglected to teach him? Does he know how to fill out a deposit slip at the bank? Could he pay for groceries? Will he be able to figure out a metropolitan mass transit route?

Comments

Jen said…
Paul is so responsible. It's too funny. What a great gig for him to do. It really doesn't surprise me that he didn't know how to address an envelope. That's so Paul. How will he survive without you?
froggybaby said…
It is surprising about the envelopes. A few years ago, all the students wrote letters to someone they admired, both famous and not. All teachers commented that very few students could address an envelope.

He looks great doing his job! Can't believe they are all grown up and making money.