2010 was a boring year
In 2010:
Number of times I was arrested for disorderly conduct wearing nothing but a scarf and a giant stuffed Oreo: 0
Number of trees I chopped down illegally while blindfolded with my favorite quilt: 0
Number of karaoke bars that gave me a standing ovation for singing "Copacabana": 0
Number of marlins I caught off the coast of Cuba: 0
Number of babies I birthed: 0
Number of times I committed self-immolation using a blowtorch and kerosene: 0
Number of bananas I ate while on an all-banana and Chiclets diet: 0
Number of times Jim had to rescue me from a flooded basement storage room containing twelve alligators and one soaking wet capybara: 0
Number of times I played floor hockey: 1
So 2010 wasn't a total wash.
Here's to 2011 (clink!) (hiccup) (I don't know why I just hiccuped--I don't drink alcohol. Maybe that's the problem; perhaps my year was boring because I maintained a continuous state of sobriety) (Oh well)
Happy non-alcoholic New Year!
Number of times I was arrested for disorderly conduct wearing nothing but a scarf and a giant stuffed Oreo: 0
Number of trees I chopped down illegally while blindfolded with my favorite quilt: 0
Number of karaoke bars that gave me a standing ovation for singing "Copacabana": 0
Number of marlins I caught off the coast of Cuba: 0
Number of babies I birthed: 0
Number of times I committed self-immolation using a blowtorch and kerosene: 0
Number of bananas I ate while on an all-banana and Chiclets diet: 0
Number of times Jim had to rescue me from a flooded basement storage room containing twelve alligators and one soaking wet capybara: 0
Number of times I played floor hockey: 1
So 2010 wasn't a total wash.
Here's to 2011 (clink!) (hiccup) (I don't know why I just hiccuped--I don't drink alcohol. Maybe that's the problem; perhaps my year was boring because I maintained a continuous state of sobriety) (Oh well)
Happy non-alcoholic New Year!
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