2010 was a boring year

In 2010:
Number of times I was arrested for disorderly conduct wearing nothing but a scarf and a giant stuffed Oreo: 0

Number of trees I chopped down illegally while blindfolded with my favorite quilt: 0

Number of karaoke bars that gave me a standing ovation for singing "Copacabana": 0

Number of marlins I caught off the coast of Cuba: 0

Number of babies I birthed: 0

Number of times I committed self-immolation using a blowtorch and kerosene: 0

Number of bananas I ate while on an all-banana and Chiclets diet: 0

Number of times Jim had to rescue me from a flooded basement storage room containing twelve alligators and one soaking wet capybara: 0

Number of times I played floor hockey: 1

So 2010 wasn't a total wash.

Here's to 2011 (clink!) (hiccup) (I don't know why I just hiccuped--I don't drink alcohol. Maybe that's the problem; perhaps my year was boring because I maintained a continuous state of sobriety) (Oh well)

Happy non-alcoholic New Year!


Jenni said…
Wow, you didn't do anything!! You were rather busy for not doing anything!! Have a nice evening and a great 2011.
TaterBean said…
HAHA! Mother, you are too funny! I hope you are working on your annual New Years puzzle... :)
Vern said…
Dude, you make boring sound so...good!
Jen said…
It definitely was a close call for you. I'm actually glad none of those things happened to you because then I would be jealous. Happy New Year!