Why I can never get the kitchen counter clean

Children bring things home from school for me to sign/look at/remember/participate in. If I don't have the papers right out in the open, I forget and the children get all disappointed in me. I should sign things right away, I know, but sometimes I'm not home when they put things for me to sign on the counter.

Pens and pencils reproduce like bunnies. I leave two of them out on the counter and pretty soon, they have baby pencils and pens that scamper around and eat the papers that are supposed to remind me to do things.

There is always that ONE thing sitting on the counter that I can't decide where it goes. Right now it's a squat canning jar. All my canning jar hidey holes are full. Where do I put this little orphan. Heaven forbid I should trash it. Also, Christmas cards with pictures. I have nowhere to put them!

Projects that need my attention get put on the kitchen counter as well. I borrowed my mother's genealogy binder and have yet to do anything with it. But if I put it anywhere else, I'll lose it and I will be in so much trouble if I misplace it. Think spanking-of-all-spankings-type trouble. Yes, people I believe my mother would still spank me even as old as I am. (just kidding, Mom. I do believe I could take you on if you tried corporal punishment on me)

I love lists. Lists help me function (or they make me believe I'm functional). But I forget to throw away my lists when I'm done with them. Sometimes I'm not done with them and I accidentally throw them away when they have some piece of important information on them, like the phone number of a dermatologist, and I lost my mind trying to find that one slip of paper that I had thrown away. So I try not to throw away my lists.

Currently, we also have Other Jim's antibiotic and prescription mouthwash for the recent dental surgery (which he claims didn't affect him at all, even though he can't remember walking to the van afterward). If that wasn't out, he'd forget to take them and I'd forget to nag.

Empty rolls of tape multiply like pens and pencils.

My counter will never be clean.


Jen said…
I hear ya, sista! I was just cleaning off and cursing my kitchen counters and table today because of all the junk that had piled up in only 2 days. It's maddening. I did make a special bin for just school papers, but it gets left behind when we're rushing to get to lessons, appointments, and such and ends up getting thrown on the counter. Urgh! I would truly be all for teachers/schools texting me reminders for stuff or sending me electronic calendars. I wouldn't even mind if the teacher just scanned in all of Annie's homework (weekly) to show me her progress. I'm really at that point.
Jenni said…
I just act like it isn't there. The pile by the phone has multiplied into the pile at the end of the bar, the pile at the computer, the pile on the table, and the pile by my bed. sigh... However, I think all my pens must hive migrated north to your house. I never have any.
Thanks, Sara. You've just squelched any hope I had that one day I might get my counters back. Sigh.