Reason #1 not to pick up a mouse

They bite.

But that really isn't the bad part of it. Pick up the mouse, bam!--it bites you, you feel a bit of a pricking sensation, you drop it and it runs back into your garage to leave little mouse droppings under your garage shelving. Takes maybe 2 seconds. 2 and a half, tops.

No, the worst part is then you have to dig through the cupboard to find your phone book while you worry about turning into a were-mouse, only to pull out the yellow pages for Savage, which doesn't have your dr. office which is in Burnsville. You pull out the second one, but it's for St. Paul. Luckily it has your clinic listed. Then you dial the wrong number within the vast network of your health care organization, get transferred three times, wind up on hold for another 15 minutes, then sheepishly explain to the tired-sounding call answerer why you need to talk to a nurse. Then you get put on hold for the nurse only to have her call you while you wait for her to answer your call (can't explain that one. But it happened. My call waiting detected a call from the nurse hotline while I was on hold with them). Then the nurse makes some crack about you bothering the mouse and you have to remind yourself that the mouse is the vermin, not you (and you hope it remains that way). The nurse says you have to come in to urgent care for a tetanus shot, like NOW.

So you put off making dinner to go to urgent care and are seen by no less than FOUR health care professionals not including the admitting receptionist (who probably alerted the staff to the total dimwit who got bit by a mouse and they all had to come have a look), and all of them want to know what happened. They all try not to laugh at you.

Then the pretend doctor (the Physician's assistant, who is NOT a nurse but someone in between) offers not only the tetanus shot but a pertussis immunization as well (it must have been buy-one-get-one-free day at urgent care). And you can't pass up the chance to not get whooping cough (the PA said that the pertussis vaccine given to young children has been proven to wear off in adulthood).

Then you tell each one of the people who have a look at you that at least you didn't pick up a bear.

Then you go home and eat dinner really really late because the whole ordeal took slightly longer than two and a half hours.


Why would you pick up a mouse?
Dennis said…
I guess I would ask the same question - why would you pick up a mouse? I have several mouse traps that work really well owing to my first hand knowledge and the former knowledge of 3 dead mice. Once Gary Carlson and I were moving a shed and found a mouse nest in one corner. We managed to trap the adult and Gary stomped out 4 or 5 infants. I still have nightmares and can still hear the screaming of those poor little things.
I picked up the mouse because I could. And it was cute.
Jen said…
Yay! Sara gets to join the club with me. That is, the club of "We Got Bit By a Mouse Club". In my case, it was actually a rat. And, I was only 4 (or 5) and didn't know any better about picking up nasty rodents. I also got bit by a guinea pig once. That's why I never liked those stupid toupees.