Glasses: A Retrospective (for my nieces, who are amazed at the size of glasses frames from the 80s)

This was painful to do. I admit it, I was an ugly child and an ugly teenager (all because I was an ugly baby). But I try to embrace my hideousness; plus my incredibly charming personality more than makes up for it, right? Right? (crickets chirping) Anyway, I've heard talk that large frames have incited more than one giggle out of a current crop of teens and preteens, and being the type of aunt who tries to amuse, I have put together a little collection of pictures featuring ugly glasses (and as a bonus, the pictures also contain examples of ugly wallpaper, ugly carpeting, ugly robes, ugly hairstyles and ugly clothes).

As usual, you can click on the pictures for an enlargement, although making them bigger might not be better; doing so might damage your retinas.

Picture #1: My first pair of glasses, second only in infamy to the much-maligned "Battlestar Galactica" glasses. I still have these glasses. Sadly, I do not still have the moccasins. Note the sliver of visible ugly carpet. Yes, it is burnt orange.

Picture #2: Frames are getting larger, but nowhere near the football-field size ones that appeared in later years. I shall not make fun of the dress I am wearing--I thought it was beautiful then and I still think so. Katie wore it for a year or two. I shall, however, diss the haircut. Whoever let me get a mullet???
Picture #3: Why am I holding socks? Here we have the previously mentioned "Battlestar Galactica" glasses--the reason I got detention during Science class in 7th grade. Yes, these glasses got me in big trouble. Alexis H. teased me MERCILESSLY in 7th grade, and because most classes were seated alphabetically, I had to sit next to him all the time. Science was my last class of the day. Alexis was teasing me again and I finally could not take it anymore. As we were putting our chairs on our desks in preparation for heading out to the bus, Alexis made one more crack about my glasses, and I shoved him hard into our table. He hit so hard that the chairs fell off the table and he sustained a pretty good bruise to the head. The science teacher gave me detention, but also gave Alexis an earful about teasing me. It wasn't until 8th grade I think that I finally broke these glasses--I was so relieved when they broke.

Picture #4 Same hideous glasses, different hideous wallpaper. The previous picture was taken in the basement. This setting is in the dining room. (By the way, both wallpapers have been replaced. Praise the mighty redecorators!) Jake is on the left, in the middle is my best friend of my youth and neighbor, Julie. I believe that this picture was taken only weeks before the "accident" wherein my BG glasses were finally beaten. We were sledding and Julie ran over me. My arm was hurt enough to warrant a cast (don't think bones were broken, just bruised), but HALLELUJAH, the BG glasses suffered breakage!

Note to those who don't know: The reason the glasses were called "Battlestar Galactica" glasses was because on either side of the glasses, there was a little metal rectangle with the words "Battlestar Galactica" on them. Yes, after the ORIGINAL TV show. Why did I have them if I hated them so much? Because when I trying them on, I didn't notice the metal logos. I didn't see them until the glasses were paid for, lenses installed, and delivered to me. I cried buckets over those glasses.

Picture #5: Transition lenses before they were popular. It took a good 15 minutes for them to get dark outside, and twice that long to undo completely when I went back inside. I had to have them (as well as bifocals) because I was on medication that kept my eyes dilated. I suffered that medication (atropine) for 8 years.
This is my light blue swiss dot dress that I wore to play at Northrup Auditorium. I still have the dress although it's just a teensy bit too small for me these days. Har.

Last picture: A close up of some big glasses. And of my mullet. I am wearing a pretty cool jacket THAT I SEWED MYSELF, although you can't really see it. I loved that jacket.

Commence laughter at the myriad awful styles featured in this post. I hope you enjoy laughing at me.


Jen said…
You are very brave for posting these pictures. Any photos taken of me between the years 1989 to 1993 were destroyed (at least I hope so).

I'm pretty sure everyone has something in their youth that wasn't exactly the coolest fashion statement. You had bad glasses, I had bad hair. My best friend, Julie, and I used to be secretly in competition with each other to see who could get the tallest hair. She always won because my hair wouldn't take to hairspray as well as Julie's. Mike now refers to hair like that as "state fair hair".

I certainly wouldn't call your past self ugly though. You were distinguished;)
Distinguished? HAHAHA Nerdy is more like it. Ridiculous. My style sense was non-existent even for the time. I do like my senior picture though. That was a good one. And I like many pictures of me at my wedding.

My past self was DANG ugly.
froggybaby said…
It is not our fault. We were slaves of the industry. It was the government, trying to bring us into submission through fashion. If these things were not available, we would not have made the bad choice to buy them.

The haircut was not a mullet. It was, I think, technically, a "bi-level." I even remember Patty Macadanz suggesting it to you. You wanted to keep your hair long, but didn't want it in your face when reading. That was the logical thought process. Wise choice, too!!

I perfected the mushroom head with my thick, frizzy hair. I'll have to post one or two at some point.
them glasses is like, huge. way hughe.
mastubz said…
Sara, you were most definately not ugly. You were adorable, with the personality to match. If you are not pleased in reflection of your past, you must adopt the title that Micah & Sarah use for such periods in one's development- "the unfortunate years."
I think Jenni is correct in calling the haircut a "bi-level." My girls have the same haircut about the mid-80's. We all suffered those "unfortunate years."
And if you didn't, then you are most unfortunate!