Day 10 of the Halloween Decorations Special Feature and the lengths I go to to decorate

This photo shows the only outside evidence of a pumpkin-loving resident of my house. Sadly, I do not have any exterior decorations for Halloween. It has always been my dream to have a few bales of hay surrounded by pumpkins and gourds of various shapes and sizes, but I never get around to purchasing them, much less setting them up in a festive manner in my yard.
So these lights will have to do. I don't even have them connected to an outlet yet. I have to find an exterior extension cord, which is probably still attached to Christmas lights and buried in some unmarked box in the garage.

And let me tell you of the trouble I've seen while attending to these lights.

First off, I tried to find a place for them inside my already crowdedly-orange house. I attempted to string them across my front window, but halfway through doing that, I realized the curtain rod was not attached securely to the wall and with the weight of these lights (they are heavy. Is it the fact that they are LED lights?) I could cause a major drapery disaster by stringing them up there. So I took down what I had strung up.

Then I considered the outside of the front window. So I went outside with the lights and assessed the string-light-bearing ability of the front of the house. Sadly the lip over the edge of the front window was unsuitable. And while I was inspecting, I noticed several million spider webs, fully 95% of them inhabited by the most vicious of spiders. And one GIGANTIC dead spider body in a bucket that lives under the spigot (the bucket. I don't let GIGANTIC spiders live anywhere near my house) and thought that if THAT spider was murdered by possibly another spider, how big was the murderer? And I nearly seized up with fear right there on the front step. So I abandoned the hope of having beautiful orange lights bordering my window.

Next I considered the front door. There too, I had man-or-woman-eating spiders to contend with. And EGG SACS. Little tictac-size wombs of future arachnid terrorists. With the bravery of a Navy SEAL, I came within mere inches of the egg sacs to assess the possibility of stringing lights around the screen door. It looked promising! I brought out a chair to stand on, some packing tape and some scissors to aid in the attachment of 50 lbs of pumpkin lights. And I taped and strung. I stood back to see what it looked like. Wonderful! Then I went in the house. And the lights got stuck in the screen door.

*Sigh* So I pulled them down. And as I stepped back on the front doorstep, I felt a squooshy blob between my toes. Yes, I was barefoot and had just stepped on a slug. EW EW EW EW EW. Obviously, I should have consulted the Magic 8 Ball before commencing on this endeavor. It would have said, "Signs point to spiders and slugs" and I would have saved myself tons of time being grossed out by tiny vicious and squishy nature.

Finally I strung them on the deck railing. If I ever get the extension cord (I was so exhausted from my exertions and phobias by the time I got them strung that I didn't have the energy to go spelunking in my garage for the means to connect the lights to the outlet) hooked up, they'll look very festive and happy.


Jen said…
I would have given up after the first attempt at trying up to put the lights up. Good for you for staying motivated about your goals.

Yesterday I kept telling Mike that he was going to help me get started on my living room Roman shades. I need his help because the window is 90" wide and my arms just won't reach that far across. He agreed to this plan. I got the girls to bed and came downstairs at around 8:20 p.m. My eyes darted to the fabric I had laid out, and Mike said it was too late. Urgh, he knew all along that it was my plan. So at least you are getting progress in your house. Apparently, there is no such thing in my house if it's after 8:00 p.m.
Dennis said…
Have you ever poured salt on a slug and then watch it (the slug) disolve? Steve and I used to do it all the time to slugs and snails.
Arachniphobia is serious business. Sharon can make a tiny spider sound like it must weigh at least 50 lbs.
Jessie said…
Oh man - I am so impressed by your persistence and bravery! I would've given up after the first attempt! And I'd still be scrubbing my foot with Comet and steel wool if I stepped on a slug (well, once I regained consciousness).

So, Kudos to you! May all your Halloween dreams come true!
froggybaby said…
Spiders and evil and must die. I've seen "Arachnaphobia" and I know what can happen. Love the face on that little pumpkin guy. AND I LOVE MY PRESENT!!! Merci tres bien and beaucoup.